Ask Roudy Romeo: Smoke Signals

Relationship advice columnist Roudy Romeo has been there and knows how to help. He dishes out the truth just as he sees it in our newest addition to The Socialite offering readers life, sex and relationship advice in his signature sharp style. Check out this week’s edition entitled Smoke Signals…

Dear Roudy Romeo

I have just started dating this guy and can’t wait to chat to him each day, but my friends say that I am being too interested in him and may push him away. How much “man time” do guys really need, surely I should take preference?

New Flame

Dear New Flame

I would like to start by saying that if you don’t allow him some time to himself ,then the only alone time you guys will be spending will not be together. Now that I have gone straight to the point, there are three kind little words that every guy will hear from his friends when you do not give him space: Stage Five Clinger. And those words are poisonous. It may just come into the conversation harmlessly, but once planted they will grow into his brain and strangle whatever fragrant love seed you have been nurturing.

Nobody really knows the individual stages of clinginess, but five is definitely the worst, as all the other dangerous numbers have been taken by either the devil or the deadly sins. It is also by no coincidence that they appear in that order of ascending evil. Or descending evil, it works either way. It is almost like the evil version of The Twelve Days of Christmas; only you are left with one ex-boyfriend, two people fighting, three “I told you so”, and four shots of tequila.

The smart phone has made it easier to become impatient when waiting for that special person to reply. Noted, if you are waiting for that ‘R’ to appear after every message you have sent him. Then stop it. Stop it right now. I also strongly suggest that you do not ‘ping’ or ‘poke’ him if you do not get a reply within your allocated time limit you have decided to give him. From personal experience, if you ‘ping’ me enough I will kindly oblige and leave you at the club. When I was a small boy, mostly lying on the couch and not knowing what she was doing in the other room; I would call out “Mom”, if no reply within what was probably not even five seconds then Im sure you know what happens next, “Mom”, “Maaaaaa”, “Maaa-aaaah”. Things like that only make the other person annoyed.

Guys need time to be simply that, guys. It is not a matter of how much time we are allowed by our girlfriends but more that we just have it. We don’t even have to be doing anything. We are not like girls who have to be doing something womanly or cliché in order to have girl time; we do not even have to be with other guys. Just because a guy is not doing anything necessarily constructive does not give you permission to give him something to do. It may actually be to just to relax around you.

I think that being interested in each other is important and communication is key to any healthy relationship. You are in a new relationship so it is understandable that things are still exciting and you are getting to know each other, but even a fire needs oxygen to burn. You may fan as much as you want, add more substance, but if you are smothering him all you will get is smoke and a lot of friction.

Burn the roof down, your fire marshal

Roudy Romeo

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