Meet Simmi Areff, Durban stand-up comedian and member of the East Coast Radio Breakfast Team. The Socialite goes behind the mic with the effervescent comedian known for his parody songs and prank calls…

1.       Tell us a bit about yourself and how you ended up at East Coast Radio?

I was still in University and I decided to get into some stand up comedy. Fortunately things took off quickly and the next thing I knew I was opening for one of my biggest role models – John Vlismas. One of the producers from East coast Radio was there and after the show he asked me to come through to the studio and record a couple of things…long story short – I haven’t left.

2      If you had the power to annihilate all recordings of one song, what would it be?

Cindy Lauper – Girls just want to have fun. Every time that song is played, I think a child dies, it is horrific, I know.

3      The craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Hmm, I do so many things that can be classified as crazy. For me it is just being me – if someone thinks it is crazy then I can’t stop them – that said, I wore a towel once for inter galactic towel day (a day dedicated to author Douglas Adams) and I ended up standing in traffic and some pretty girls for some arb promotion walked pass…let’s just say it didn’t end well!

4      In your fridge you always have…

Fish paste… I love the stuff

5     Tell us your favourite joke or one-liner…

What’s the difference between Roast beef and pea soup…you can roast beef but you can’t pee soup…Get it?

6      If a genie granted you one wish, what would it be?

To get a pretty and intelligent girlfriend

7     Most used saying or quote?

Love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

 It’s by Pablo Neruda called I do not love you. I just wanted to show you guys that I know deep emotional poetry…I quote Kanye West more….he is dope.

8  Who would you want to play you in a movie?

I would love to see the part played by Justin Bieber – we look the same, except I am a guy and he is a girl…If someone is going to play me it would have to be Denzel Washington, we share the same skin colour and he will make me look much more hardcore than I really am

9  Last song you sang out aloud?

Kanye West – Love knock you down. I love Kanye, I do, I quote him often.

10  If you could invite any five celebs over for dinner who would they be and why?

I would rather have a dinner with my closest friends to be honest as celebs don’t impress me, but if I ever wanted to meet one it would be Natalie Portman. She is poison looking…also Aziz Ansari – because I love his comedy.